May She Rest In Peace

My friend's funeral was yesterday. I still can't believe I will never see her again. It's difficult to write about her. But I had a thought, I may not be able to write about her, but I can write to her. I picked up a blank journal the other day and I'll be writing letters to her. I'm calling the book Letters to Heaven. I'll probably have letters to other people I love who died also.

That's it for now, its been a tough week. I want to put my feet up and read.

Hugs to all,

Mary Ellen

My Best Friend

This is not the way I had planned my first post for this blog. I just got back from visiting my best friend. She didn't know I was there. Leslie is dying from pancreatic cancer and I just found out today. Her husband told me she found out a couple weeks ago and its been downhill ever since. When I saw her she was comotose. I suspect she will never wake up, but I hope she knows that I was there.

Her illness and upcoming death has affected me in ways I cannot explain. All of a sudden things that I thought were important, are no longer on the top of my list. My first thoughts on the way home were that I must make sure my affairs are in order so that Dave would not be saddled with making decisions. I have pretty much done that. There is a notebook in the kitchen with my last wishes in it. I'm going to have to review it and make sure everything is in order.

I am really having a tough time with this. In fact I just told Dave that I will be going to church tomorrow. I am a Christian and I pray everyday, but since my husband passed on '93 I haven't been inside a church. But that's neither here nor there.

I'm going to miss Leslie more than I can say. I am in pain just seeing her lying there not knowing I was there.

Well, tomorrow will be better. I am promising myself I will not be depressed.